The Perfect Day
by Breathesgirl
Summary: What could Hermione get up to on vacation? Written for Hermione's Haven 2018 fic exchange.


This whole thing started when my godson asked me to tell him stories of his father. And since most of mine and James' years together involved pranking, that's what he heard. "Harry," I said as I walked into my godson's bedroom and sat on his desk chair, "want to hear about our greatest prank?" At Harry's nod I began, "it was our seventh year, and dear old Minnie looked to be rather stressed. So, we decided we'd get her to relax a bit."

 **First week of October, 1977**

James and Sirius were sitting by the Black Lake ( _not named after my family, thank you very much!_ ) waiting for Peter and Remus, quietly discussing the fact that Professor McGonagall ( _Minnie! Shhhh, don't tell her I said that!_ ) seemed a mite tense.

"I wonder what's got Ol' Minnie's knickers in a twist?" Mused Sirius _(Actually, I wondered, but muse sounds better_ ).

"I don't know mate, but maybe we should do something to untwist them," James said. Sirius' grey eyes shone at the thought of getting one over on their Transfiguration professor and Head of House, and his mind immediately began going through their bags of tricks; what they had already used, what they hadn't, what had gotten the biggest laugh, and what had gotten them into the most trouble.

"What about..." Sirius began just as Remus flopped down on the grass beside the two Marauders.

"What about what?" He asked as he looked at each of his friends in turn, wondering what they were plotting this time and just how much trouble they would be in.

James had just opened his mouth to respond when a rat ambled up to them then transformed into an overweight, dumpy looking seventh year. "It's about time Wormtail," James said as he looked at his watch. "You're 15 minutes late."

"S...s...Sorry," Peter, also known as Wormtail, or Wormy, stuttered as he took a seat beside James. "I was on my way when I almost ran into _Snivellus,_ " he said as he tried to sneer, but the sneer made him look more constipated than anything else. "I had to hide behind that bust of the three legged banshee until he was gone."

James just shrugged; it wasn't the first time one of the Marauders had been late for a meeting. He placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, "It's okay Wormy. As I was about to say: We need to do something to brighten Ol' Minnie's mood, her knickers seem to be twisted. It is now our mission to untwist them!"

Peter shuddered at the picture that came to mind when he heard about Professor McGonagall's knickers being twisted. "I did not need that picture in my head, thank you very much!" He exclaimed. The others just laughed and they began plotting ways of making their Head of House laugh.

 **One Week Later**

Professor McGonagall sat at her desk to get some paperwork done when she started sniffing and scrabbling at her desktop. She looked under her desk, in the drawers, even in the corners of the room, and under her chair and the visitor's chairs to find the source of the most enticing scent but she couldn't find anything. For some reason she even felt the strangest urge to transform into her cat animagus and play with the parchment, quills and ink pots on her desk. That had never happened before unless...Minerva's lips thinned into a straight line as she took out her wand and incanted, "Finite Incantatem." Sure enough, there it was: Someone had coated her desk with catnip and placed an invisibility charm on it.

She sighed as she left her office to get Argus Filch ( _the most grouchy person I've ever come across, except my mother, of course)_ to clean her office since it was obvious she couldn't do it herself, and muttered, "25 points from each of the Marauders for complicating my life," even as her lips twitched as she tried to fight the smile; they were certainly creative, and muttered again, "five points to each Marauder for creativity."

 **Two Hours Later**

"Well," sighed Sirius, "that didn't work out like we planned. It didn't even make her lips twitch."

"I know," pouted James. "We'll just have to step up our game." The four boys bent their heads together and began plotting another way to get the transfiguration professor to let her hair down and relax.

 **Two Months Later** (the leaving feast before Yule break)

The students were sitting at their House tables, enjoying their breakfast and looking forward to the two week break for the Yule holidays, and making plans to get together with friends when the most awful noise sounded throughout the Great Hall.

Everyone stopped talking and looked around for the source of the noise when Sirius appeared in front of the Head Table and started lip synching to Black Dog by Led Zepplin as he looked right at Professor McGonagall, "Hey, hey, mama, said the way you move, Gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove. Ah, ah, child, way you shake that thing. Gonna make you burn, gonna make you sting..."

Minerva turned bright red from both embarrassment and anger, and jumped from her seat as she glared at her 'serenader'. "You," she spluttered then took a deep breath, trying to regain her composure as she took the few steps needed to be right in front of the recalcitrant ( _The editor insisted on such an outdated word! Recalcitrant is just another way of saying willful or stubborn!)_ boy. "You," she began again, trying to control the rage she felt, "have two months detention with Argus Filch, starting the night you return from break. During the break you will write a two foot essay on the lyrics to that ' _song_ ', and what they **actually** mean, due when you return." She turned to return to her seat, but thought of something else, "And 100 points from Gryffindor for embarrassing your head of house."

Sirius stood there, stunned. It hadn't worked? Why? He thought the song was funny as hell.

 **Four Hours Later** (Compartment on the Hogwarts Express from Hogsmeade to Kings Cross)

"I can't' believe it didn't work!" Sirius whinged ( _actually, I was stating a fact!_ ). "I mean..."

"Yes, yes. We've heard you the last 15 times you said it Sirius!" James cut in, totally exasperated with his brother in all but blood. "I told you to look at the lyrics, that they didn't mean what you thought they did, but you were so insistent on using _that_ song, that I simply gave up trying to convince you."

Sirius sat there, mouth agape ( _The editor struck again! She insisted on agape, saying it sounded better than mouth wide open_ ), and ran through the two months of preparation that went into the prank and realized Prongs was right: Remy and James had tried to change his mind ( _but I just like that song SO much!_ ) that he didn't listen to a word they said unless it was to agree with him. "I'm sorry," he quietly said, suddenly finding the floor quite interesting.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, "It's not the first time one of us has gotten in trouble for a prank Pads," James said comfortingly, "and I gotta say, the shade of red Ol' Minnie turned was one I haven't seen before. Maybe next time, you'll listen when one of us doesn't think it'll work, yeah?" Sirius nodded his head as the five minute warning of imminent arrival at Kings Cross sounded.

 **The Final two weeks of 1977** (Potter Manor, somewhere in the UK)

The four friends spent plenty of time together during the hols, building snowmen, having snowball fights, drinking hot cocoa by the fire and plotting the next prank to get Professor McGonagall to relax.

 **January/Early February, 1978** (Hogwarts)

Between Head Boy duties and detentions, not to mention the unreal amount of homework they were assigned each day, it was another month before the Marauders were able to get together to finalize plans for the next prank. This one fell on Valentine's Day, and they were eager to see the Professor's reaction to what they had planned.

Valentine's was on a Tuesday that year, and the Marauders were hoping it would be just the thing to get their Head of House to relax. When Professor McGonagall sat down, 'Smile' was written in red letters in the air in front of her place at the Head table; that seemed to relieve some of her tension, if the fact there were fewer wrinkles in her brow was any indication.

Next, pancakes in the shape of hearts appeared on the plate before her, and 'smile' appeared in the air before her again, causing the nearly permanent line of her lips to loosen and nearly imperceptibly twitch.

A small pitcher of syrup appeared by her right hand; when she poured it onto her pancakes, it flowed easily and quickly into little heart shapes and sayings usually found on the Muggle Valentine's Love Hearts candy. Things like 'Smile', 'Laugh', and "You Are Great' appeared on her breakfast.

Everyone could see that she was enjoying her breakfast, and seemed to be relaxing somewhat, giving some of them hope that class would be easier that day.

Once she had finished her meal and her plate had been cleared by elf magic, a single, green candy appeared in the middle of her plate. Minerva raised an eyebrow and looked around the room at the students, trying to figure out what was going on. Her gaze landed on the two most likely culprits, since they were smiling so wide. Her thoughts then switched to just what prank they were playing, and just what was going to happen to her if she should just happen to pop that candy into her mouth. Just when she had decided to leave the sweet where it was, not wishing to have green hair or wear something totally inappropriate, 'smile' appeared in the air before her once again. She gazed at the two pranksters for several moments, probably wondering if the prank was really that simple: Did they really just want her to smile? ( _truthfully, and I'm Siriusly Sirius about this, we really did just want Minnie to smile._ ) Finally, she picked up the green sweet and put it in her mouth: She looked totally surprised after a minute when nothing happened other than she tasted lime and the candy turned to dust in her mouth, as the Love Hearts are wont to do ( _at least that's what Lily told us after she got the shipment from her parents_ ). And then, a miracle occurred and she smiled! It wasn't very big, it was barely noticeable, but since the Marauders were watching so closely they actually saw it happen!

 **That Night**

"I can't believe it worked!" James whopped.

"It did," Sirius nodded. "So, what's our next prank and who's it gonna be on?" He asked, not expecting the answer he was about to receive.

"Minnie, of course."

"But," Sirius spluttered, "We just pranked her."

James nodded, "Yeah, we did, but a smile wasn't what we were really after, and you know it."

"Prongs, you know I'm all for what we're doing. After all, most of them are my idea anyway. But unless it's Snivellus, we never prank the same person twice in a row."

"Very true, Pads. But, now that she thinks we got her, she'll let down her guard and we'll be able to get her but good."

Sirius smiled and nodded emphatically, "Very true. We've still got a few ideas left from when we first discussed it, which one do we want to do?" Sirius had a very specific prank in mind, one which would most definitely get them in trouble, but hopefully it would untwist Minnie's knickers and get her to let her hair down for a bit.

The Marauders decided that they would spread the fun around a bit, after all, they still had three and a half, almost four months to play the ultimate prank on their Head of House, and they needed planning time, and the potion they needed for their final prank of their Hogwarts years needed a fortnight to brew , and since they needed to owl-order some of the ingredients anyway, it was best to get on with things and act normal, at least for them, so their target wouldn't get twitchy.

 **Middle of May**

"Are you sure about this Prongs? I mean, I've always wanted a twin so our pranks would be even more awesome! But leading McGonagall on a wild hippogriff chase through the school wasn't one of the ways I thought I would ever use a twin," Sirius asked as he wiped the stirring rod and laid it down beside the cauldron.

James nodded, "Positive. We've got the map, we've got the mirrors, and what's the worst she can do to us? By the time we pull this off we'll have already written our N.E.W.T.s, we'll just be waiting for the graduation ceremonies. And you know those last two weeks are boring! That's when we do our best pranks!"

Sirius smiled, "True enough. We've still got a couple of weeks before the Polyjuice'll be ready. What are we gonna do until then?"

James looked at his best friend and grinned, giving poor Sirius hope that it wasn't going to be what he feared. "It's N.E.W.T. year Padfoot, what do you think we're going to do? Study of course. We can't become aurors if we don't pass with at least EE's, and we're both smart enough to get O's, you know."

Sirius groaned, studying was so not what he wanted to do the last two official weeks of their education. "I suppose you're right Prongs," he glanced at their grimoire of pranks and sighed wistfully.

"You do realize there won't be a minute Lils won't have our noses buried in our books, don't you? Unless we're eating, sleeping, or doing rounds, she won't let up. You know that, and even then she'll be worrying about them, revising in her head and forcing us to listen to her going on about how hard they're going to be and how she's going to fail everything ( _Sounds remarkably like Harry's friend Hermione if you ask me_ ). And Moony'll back her up every step of the way."

Sirius groaned: They'd seen how Lily was about exams over the years, and until this year they'd been able to laugh at her ( _where she couldn't see or hear, of course. After all, James had been mooning after her since he first saw her on the train.)_ and be happy it wasn't them she'd been harping at. Of course, they had Remus, the male version of Lily, harping at them instead..."I know mate," he said as he gathered up their grimoire and his book bag, "just not looking forward to it is all."

 **Two Weeks Later** (the day after exams were finished)

"Ready Pads," James asked. At Sirius' nod he dropped one of his best friend's hairs into the potion and watched as it changed colour and turned into a grey sludge. He wrinkled his nose and held the goblet out as if clinking it with another, "here's to getting Minnie to relax!" He then downed the potion in one go. ( _I'm just glad it wasn't me! I've heard that stuff is just nasty, and it certainly looked it!)_

He doubled over and groaned in pain as his body and features started shifting. After several minutes the transformation was complete and Sirius was looking at his exact double, except for one thing. He reached forward and removed James' glasses. "There, now you look just like me," he said with a huge grin. "You can see without them, right?"

James nodded, "Yeah, I can. I've always wondered what it would be like not have to wear them. I gotta say, so far it's awesome! I've never felt so much pain before, though. Not even turning into Prongs the very first time!" He said with a large grin. ( _It was strange looking at my best friend and not seeing him, but me instead.)_

"If you say anything, you gotta sound like me, not you, ya know."

James, with Sirius' face, looked slightly embarrassed. ( _Not a look I've ever sported before.)_ "I thought Polyjuice changed everything," he said as he looked at the recipe. "Hmmmmm, it doesn't say anything about voices; it just says the body will change to look like someone else."

Sirius sighed, "Just leave the talking to me then. And put your glasses somewhere they can't be seen! Don't want to give it away too early!"

Several minutes later the two trouble makers ( _at least that's what the professors called us)_ were in position. "Okay Moony, do it!" Sirius said into his communication mirror. Several seconds later a loud bang was heard near the front of the school. Almost immediately the professors came running out of the Great Hall, some of them were actually walking quickly, or waddling in Slughorn's case, towards the front of the school to see what had happened.

"Pssst, Minnie," a Polyjuiced James whispered almost directly into Minerva's ear. Before she could react he took off at a dead run up the grand staircase. Once she had recovered herself, Professor McGonagall took off after one of her most troublesome ( _I prefer to think I was fun loving, myself)_ students.

"Sirius Orion Black!" She called, "get back here this instant!" She was ignored by the boy she was chasing, but the students and staff stood in the entrance hall and watched, some trying not to laugh, before Headmaster Dumbledore shooed them back into the Great Hall to finish their lunch. He turned to the present staff, "See if you can head him off," he sighed.

James and Sirius were leading their Head of House on a merry chase through the school though, especially abandoned classrooms and little used areas of the castle. One would run into an area, run by the other and grab the invisibility cloak and sprint to the next trade off spot while the other lead the professor they had the greatest respect for on a merry chase.

After 45 minutes of an all out grand chase Professor McGonagall was lead to an empty classroom on the sixth floor in the Transfiguration wing. At least it was supposed to be empty: Instead there was a lounging divan near the only window, with an end table with magazines, periodicals and books on it, as well as a self filling goblet. As she neared the divan she saw there was a piece of parchment on the pillow. With trepidation she picked up the parchment, "Professor McGonagall: We though you needed to relax so we arranged this for you. The goblet will fill with whatever you request. There are silencing charms on the doors so you won't be disturbed. A house elf will appear at dinner with your favorites. Cheers, The Marauders."

Even though she was exhausted and vexed, she finally gave a real smile as she collapsed onto the divan, grabbed the goblet and commanded, "a dram of whiskey!"

Soon after, she sent a Patronus message to the headmaster to let him know everything had been dealt with and curled up with the current issue of Transfiguration Today and a goblet full of whatever drink she desired. She eventually fell asleep, waking only when the house elf appeared with dinner, which was delicious.

Feeling rested and better than she had all year, Minerva finally emerged from the room to find the two pranksters waiting for her with huge grins on their faces. To their delight, and befuddlement ( _the editor insisted on befuddlement, I wanted to use confusion),_ she just nodded her head and quietly said, "Thank you," before returning to her duties.

* * *

"That was awesome!" Harry exclaimed when I'd finished my story. "Are you finally going to write that book so everyone else can hear about your pranks too?"

And that, dear readers, is how this book came to be.


End file.
